A Med School Memoir

So, I checked my mail the other day, and slipped in between a solicitation to apply for a credit card with a $10,000 limit (who do they think I am?) and the monthly electricity bill, there was a slim little envelope from my medical school. Upon seeing it, my mind immediately set out to self-destruct, as it is wont to do. As I ran my finger under the flap of the envelope and tore it open, I envisioned a suite of potential doomsday scenarios that this diminutive envelope could portend. I mean, in comparison to the grandiose mailers that I receive on a regular basis, this slim, slightly trashy little envelope just screamed bad news. I imagined that my med school had spotted my charade at last, and had sent out this unceremonious letter to inform me that they had decided to revoke my admission. Or perhaps, by some bookkeeping fluke, they had simply admitted too many people, and were writing to inform me that there wouldn’t be room for me in the class after all. Honestly, I can think of about a dozen reasons to justify my temporary descent into a neurotic panic attack.

Fortunately, however, my fears were abated once I actually read the letter. It was a notification of a scholarship. Holy shit! Considering that I’m still occasionally dumbfounded that I managed to get into med school at all, given a few blemishes on my academic record, I was taken aback to find that I would qualify for a scholarship as well. Then again, let’s just say it’s not exactly a “merit-based” scholarship. It’s actually a memorial scholarship for a student who was killed many years ago while attending my school. The description says it’s awarded annually to two entering students who show promise to live out his dream of becoming “caring and compassionate physicians.” I won’t go into details about how much the scholarship is for… as that’s not the point. I never expected a scholarship–an admission was all I ever hoped for. So obviously, I was (and am) deeply honored to be given this scholarship, especially since I’m a pretty big sucker for sentimental stuff like this.

Suffice it to say that the scholarship won’t exactly cover the cost of attendance. (No surprise there.) So, with a bit off nervous anticipation, I await my financial aid package. I don’t think the financial despair of student loans will really sink in until I sign away my life and I can begin to estimate just how many back-alley beejers I’ll have to give in order to pay back Uncle Sam, should this whole doctor thing not work out.

Tags:   finacial aid · MS-0 · scholarship2 Comments