So, I’m about three weeks into med school. We’re thigh-deep in glycolysis and the TCA cycle, and I should really be spending just about every free minute memorizing every last detail I can cram into my head about this whole thing.
The problem is, my head just isn’t in it.
I wish it was. But when I study, all I think about is the bad news I got on Thursday night. My dad left my mom and they’re probably going to get a divorce. Furthermore, both my parents are recovering alcoholics, and recent events have triggered a relapse in the family. Things in my family haven’t been this stressful since I was a teenager when they first went through treatment for their addictions. (More on that later–I’ve been meaning to talk about that anyway.)
Needless to say, I really wish I could be there for my mom. She’s emotionally devastated, and she needs some support in a bad way. Unfortunately, I’m hundreds of miles away, without much power to help. I wish I could go up to see her, but I can’t–not right now. I’ve got to study and get good grades. It has taken me years of hard work to get to where I am, and I can’t risk it not working. I’ve got to do my best to stick it out. At the same time, I feel incredibly guilty for not being there for my mom. I feel like, by not dropping everything to go up to see her, I’m effectively saying “what I’m doing is more important than you are.” While I can tell her I support her and love her and all that, actions speak louder than words, and I feel like my actions are screaming out something I would never say.
Bottom line is: it really, really sucks that this is happening right now. In hindsight, I suppose I saw it coming, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen now.
Oh well, c’est la vie. Gotta study. I have a date with phosphofructokinase-1.
Tags: crap that is keeping me from studying · divorce · parents5 Comments
hey there…i’m sorry to hear that you’re having some family issues. some of my classmates have gone through similar things, sometimes they stay in school, and sometimes they take a leave of absence and come back the following year. but the most important thing is to find someone at your school that you can talk to, preferably a doctor who’s in a “counseling” position. (i have one of those at my school.) and another note, hopefully this won’t happen to you, but if your grades start to fall, at least you will have started a track record of seeking out help for outside issues, and the school will be more willing to help you out in the long run. at least that’s what happened with me at my school.
i hope everything works out for you…
I hate to hear that. You just have to keep studying and know that this too shall pass. I was old enough to experience two divorces (mom and two stepdads) and I know that it must really hurt not to be able to physically be there for your mom. My heart goes out to you and your family.
School stress always pales in comparison to family trouble. Hang in there man.
Well there’s never a good time for this to happen. No matter how much it hurts u gotta stick in there and do what you are supposed to. Don’t feel guilty about the fact that you cannot be there for your mom, let her know how much u care for her and give her a call whenever u get the time.
These are testing times but you gotta work towards being the best!
Hope everything works out in the end for you. Remember that you’re never in this alone, there are people around you that have experienced similar setbacks before, people who can support you and people who can help you manage your schoolwork.